Humility opens the door to change.
I live bound in a cage of limitation: my humanity.
There were things I hoped, ways I willed, paths I walked, beliefs I held;
There were fears abounding, anger, lusts, and envy, sneakiness, mis-directions, Lies;
I was living proof that a life reduced to denial, self-will, self-loathing, and escape will self-destruct.
So I did.
And found myself in a pit,
Just shy of death, with no escape, bereft of remedy.
I remained in that pit while outer circumstances changed.
I knew only that if I could not find a way to live…I would die.
I slowly came to recognize that I was powerless to fix
The broken wreck I had become
And had no will left to even try.
Then I knew I had to find my way to a God of my understanding,
But no self-conceived notion would suffice, all such notions collapsed into fear and frustration and despair until finally I was blank and unmoving and waiting
And humbled heart cried out
Help me help me help me
I can not help myself
I collapsed to the floor and beyond all senses or thoughts
MY VESSEL FILLED TO OVERFLOWING WITH WHAT I CANNOT SAY
BUT MY HEART SANG WITH JOY JOY
WASHED CLEAN I WAS