Humility opens the door to change.

I live bound in a cage of limitation: my humanity.

There were things I hoped, ways I willed, paths I walked, beliefs I held;

There were fears abounding, anger, lusts, and envy, sneakiness, mis-directions, Lies;

I was living proof that a life reduced to denial, self-will, self-loathing, and escape will self-destruct.

So I did.

And found myself in a pit,

Just shy of death, with no escape, bereft of remedy.

I remained in that pit while outer circumstances changed.

I knew only that if I could not find a way to live…I would die.

I slowly came to recognize that I was powerless to fix

The broken wreck I had become

And had no will left to even try.

Then I knew I had to find my way to a God of my understanding,

But no self-conceived notion would suffice, all such notions collapsed into fear and frustration and despair until finally I was blank and unmoving and waiting

I

was humbled

And humbled heart cried out

Help me help me help me

I can not help myself

I collapsed to the floor and beyond all senses or thoughts

MY VESSEL FILLED TO OVERFLOWING WITH WHAT I CANNOT SAY

BUT MY HEART SANG WITH JOY JOY

WASHED CLEAN I WAS

AND

SAVED